A sweet marriage

The Way to Save a Marriage

Mar 27, 2020

Jenna Camareno

Since I KNOW you and your boo are stuck en casa this week, let’s talk marriage.

Marriages and plants have a thing or two in common.

I have no trouble killing plants, as evidenced by my two sad-looking pots sitting on the shelf of my mint china hutch. Pot #1 contains crunchy brown leaves wilting over the side of the pot. Pot #2’s plant has already been removed, but the pot continues to sit on my shelf like a vacated hearse.

It’s easy to kill a marriage, too. All you have to do is what I did with my plants: nothing. Plants don’t die in a day. But if you ignore them when you see those first brown leaves curling up, you’ll find that tomorrow, you have a little less green. Same with your marriage. If you ignore the creeping loneliness in your heart or turn a blind eye to the scary, overwhelming issues you need to discuss, every day you’ll find a little less lushness in your marriage.

Like a plant, it’s not some huge effort that’s going to save your marriage, it’s the little day by day decisions.

Guess what: I could have saved those plants. Pot #1 and Pot #2 could have displayed lush green succulents and blooming lavender orchids right now. They could have made my china hutch a cheery place instead of a botanical graveyard.

I could have done a little something each day, even each week! I could have researched what kind of soil they need to thrive. I could have repotted them. I could have put them in their ideal amount of sunlight. I could have watered them at regular intervals. 

Marriages don’t die overnight either. And saving a marriage isn’t about some grand gesture. For a marriage to thrive, you tend to it daily. It’s those everyday habits and moments that count in a big way, over time. 

Do you hug good morning?

What about kissing good night?

Do you lean into talking about what’s hard? 

Do you build each other up in others’ presence?

Do you guard your marriage from competing outside relationships?

Do you relax and laugh together?

One of my online mentors, Ruth Chou Simons, says in her book Beholding and Becoming, “Daily choices make deep channels.”

COVID-19 quarantine lockdown house arrest is the PERFECT time to tend those houseplants. 🙂

Side note: Chris introduces homeschooled me to all the shows I missed in my sheltered life. 🙂 Current favorite: Jericho. 🙂 What show are you watching with your people this week?

The Gorgeous Life is about all the facets of female life in Christ Jesus. You’ll find tips to cultivate glowing health, be more present and alive in your relationships, develop inner and outer beauty, and laser-focus your sense of purpose in the world.

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